Who am I? The great parenting identity crisis

Before you had children, you might have been a high flyer, a party girl, a sister, friend, girlfriend. Then came children – and it all changed.

Three-quarters of women in their fifties believe they have lost their identity by being labelled as a mum, according to the results of the ‘Invisible Woman’ survey conducted for online retailer isme.com.

The experience of being a parent – and particularly a mother – can be so all-consuming that all of those varied facets of your personality seem to be devoured utterly by your role as a mother.

Let’s face it, parenting is not a widely esteemed career choice. You might be admired as a lawyer, a shop owner, or for throwing the best parties in town. Your skills at raising happy, engaging children who grasp life in both hands and offer joy to those around them are less likely to be applauded.

I’ve got to be honest and say that this is something I struggle with. I think the solution lies in breaking free from comparing yourself with others, and from investing so much in other peoples’ opinions.

It’s also worth considering that it is possible to be envious of yourself – or more precisely, the self you once were.

To bust that habit, practice being a watcher. Observe yourself, and when you find yourself wanting what someone else has or what you yourself once had, think to yourself, ‘There I go again, making comparisons.’ Or, ‘Oh look, there’s some envy there.’

Do you feel like your identity has been lost in the course of being a parent? You tell me – what do you do about it?